A Love for: Ecclesiastes

I think I can confidently say that Ecclesiastes is one of my most favorite books in the bible. It's kind of odd, but it speaks to my soul and keeps me rooted. :)

As I enter into a new semester and new year, I need to be reminded that all my worldly pursuits lead to vanity, "a striving after wind" (Ecc 1:14). What I am hopeful for in the coming days is to experience something like Ecclesiastes 3: 11-13, being joyful because "He has made everything beautiful in its time" and take pleasure in all my work and all that life has to offer. I guess this is my new year's resolution. Of course, God needs to be in picture for all this to happen.

Lord, help me to know and love your ways. I want to live life and love your people. Help me to do so according to your will, day by day. There's much to be done and much to learn this year. I want to make it count. No more fooling around and wasting my days. Please help me to put you first. Please, lead the way.

Always and only, in Christ, amen.

Ecclesiastes 3 (ESV)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

              a time to be born, and a time to die;

              a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

              a time to kill, and a time to heal; 

              a time to break down, and a time to build up; 

              a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

              a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

              a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

              a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

              a time to seek, and a time to lose;

              a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

              a time to tear, and a time to sew;

              a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

              a time to love, and a time to hate;

              a time for war, and a time for peace.

What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil - this is God's gift to man.

I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work. I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity. All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth? So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him?

2012: Not The End of The World, But An End No Less

I've been thinking for awhile about what I wanted to write in regards to all that's been happening since the Fall semester started. 

I was going to write a recap of my semester - about how surprised I was by the results of my project, the analysis I put myself under during the design process, and the unexpected spiritual undertakings I experienced through it all.

Then Sandy Hook happened. I didn't really realize how "different" this horrific event was until I encountered my parent friends. You see, it was finals week when it happened. A classmate of mine mentioned it very briefly in the computer lab one day. "Did you guys hear about Connecticut?" With a somber reply, the guy next to me said, "...yea." "It's so sad!" my classmate replied. As someone who does not watch, read, or listen to the news, I had do idea what they were talking about. I inquired a little while trying to brighten up the rendering I was working on. I found out that another shooting took place, at an elementary school this time, but asked no further questions. I had never known how to initially react to these kinds of tragedy. I was truly shocked to find out that it was an elementary school this time, but genuineness sadness had never been my first response. For me, it's always discomfort and awkwardness. The conversation quickly died down and we all resumed working.

Project for Construction Detailing: Staircase Design

When it finally occurred to me how devastating the Sandy Hook shooting was, I think I was more upset by how oblivious, self-absorbed, and disengaged I was rather than actually hurting for the lost lives and the whole incident itself. Having lived in my own dungeon for weeks and already without sleep several days prior to finals, the sense of shock - let alone the idea of mourning - was really difficult to conjure up from my weak condition. It didn't help either when I received an e-mail that weekend saying that a student from school died from a shooting when he went home for break. I was greatly annoyed and angered by this. "Why can't I ever be sincerely sad?" I often asked myself. Thank God for good friends that was around me! 

That Sunday, we cared and prayed for Newtown, CT. Together, we sought after God in the moment of despair. My GC family helped me remember that God was in more pain and loved all the victims infinitely more than their own parents and family. They reminded me that God was appalled by the great evil that was committed. They helped me remember to see beyond circumstances, beyond raw emotions and human inquiry. They reminded me to mourn for God's loved ones and hate the Adversary (School Shootings and Spiritual Warfare by Dr. Russell Moore). Most importantly, they reminded me why I was to mourn, to pray, and to hope. 

'[Since] it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."' - 1 Peter 1:16

Free-Hand Conceptual Sketches

2012 had been a year of mourning for me in some ways. The end of my parents' almost-thirty-year marriage tops it all for the most difficult and painful event of my 2012 for sure, but there was a lot of "dying to oneself" situations as well. 

As I reflect, I feel like I may be coming to an end of my "running away" season with God (which is something major to rejoice about actually). My two-year rebellion overseas and the past two years of dealing with the repercussions of my rebellion have come full circle after all. After my parents' divorce, God had really been narrowing in on tackling my own sins in the latter half of 2012. Though graciously giving me new friendships and circumstances, I was not exactly comfortable with His new arrangements for me, more so than usual. By mid-November, God seriously reveled to me a root to all my agony over the past twenty years (slightly over exaggerating, but not that far off). Then came December, with unending stress and a weak body, I was simply miserable (let's just say, my parents' divorce didn't even get me that depressed). Of course, God being God, He graciously showed me His sovereignty continuously, and blessed me with sisters to remind me of His faithfulness consistently. Now that I am more rested and slightly more "sober-minded" (no longer suffering from my self-diagnosed vertigo symptoms), I can sincerely say my heart's desire right now is aligned with 1 Peter 2:1-3:

"Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

Final Project: First Floor - Plan

All in all, I can honestly say it's been a hellish year; and yet I can genuinely say, God is good. Don't get me wrong, my fears and anxieties still remain but I think I may be finally convinced that my efforts to disregard God in my life will go in vain; and the longer I push back, the more I'll suffer. So might as well cut it out and get my act together now, no? :)

Final Project: Lobby "Elevation" Rendering

And so, now begins another chapter of my life - if not, at least a new year with an obedient heart that's ready for it (I think). I find great comfort in the family, friends, and community that God has blessed me with though. With that in mind, I believe it's going to be a good year. Wishing you all the most absolute best this new year!

Happy 2013!

Final Project: Lobby

Final Project: Lounge

 Final Project: Hallway (Looking into piano bar)

Final Project: Piano Bar

Final Project: Restaurant - Open Kitchen

Final Project: Open Kitchen (Close-up)

Note: I incorporated parts of my projects from this past semester and kind of showed the development of the project as it evolved. These renderings were completed in an extremely short amount of time. So there are lots of missing details. I shall put up my final portfolio projects, someday. :)