A Love for: Ecclesiastes

I think I can confidently say that Ecclesiastes is one of my most favorite books in the bible. It's kind of odd, but it speaks to my soul and keeps me rooted. :)

As I enter into a new semester and new year, I need to be reminded that all my worldly pursuits lead to vanity, "a striving after wind" (Ecc 1:14). What I am hopeful for in the coming days is to experience something like Ecclesiastes 3: 11-13, being joyful because "He has made everything beautiful in its time" and take pleasure in all my work and all that life has to offer. I guess this is my new year's resolution. Of course, God needs to be in picture for all this to happen.

Lord, help me to know and love your ways. I want to live life and love your people. Help me to do so according to your will, day by day. There's much to be done and much to learn this year. I want to make it count. No more fooling around and wasting my days. Please help me to put you first. Please, lead the way.

Always and only, in Christ, amen.

Ecclesiastes 3 (ESV)

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:

              a time to be born, and a time to die;

              a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted; 

              a time to kill, and a time to heal; 

              a time to break down, and a time to build up; 

              a time to weep, and a time to laugh;

              a time to mourn, and a time to dance; 

              a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;

              a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;

              a time to seek, and a time to lose;

              a time to keep, and a time to cast away;

              a time to tear, and a time to sew;

              a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;

              a time to love, and a time to hate;

              a time for war, and a time for peace.

What gain has the worker from his toil? I have seen the business that God has given to the children of man to be busy with. He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end. I perceived that there is nothing better for them than to be joyful and to do good as long as they live; also that everyone should eat and drink and take pleasure in all his toil - this is God's gift to man.

I perceived that whatever God does endures forever; nothing can be added to it, nor anything taken from it. God has done it, so that people fear before him. That which is, already has been; that which is to be, already has been; and God seeks what has been driven away.

Moreover, I saw under the sun that in the place of justice, even there was wickedness, and in the place of righteousness, even there was wickedness. I said in my heart, God will judge the righteous and the wicked, for there is a time for every matter and for every work. I said in my heart with regard to the children of man that God is testing them that they may see that they themselves are but beasts. For what happens to the children of man and what happens to the beasts is the same; as one dies, so dies the other. They all have the same breath, and man has no advantage over the beasts, for all is vanity. All go to one place. All are from the dust, and to dust all return. Who knows whether the spirit of man goes upward and the spirit of the beast goes down into the earth? So I saw that there is nothing better than that a man should rejoice in his work, for that is his lot. Who can bring him to see what will be after him?

2012: Not The End of The World, But An End No Less

I've been thinking for awhile about what I wanted to write in regards to all that's been happening since the Fall semester started. 

I was going to write a recap of my semester - about how surprised I was by the results of my project, the analysis I put myself under during the design process, and the unexpected spiritual undertakings I experienced through it all.

Then Sandy Hook happened. I didn't really realize how "different" this horrific event was until I encountered my parent friends. You see, it was finals week when it happened. A classmate of mine mentioned it very briefly in the computer lab one day. "Did you guys hear about Connecticut?" With a somber reply, the guy next to me said, "...yea." "It's so sad!" my classmate replied. As someone who does not watch, read, or listen to the news, I had do idea what they were talking about. I inquired a little while trying to brighten up the rendering I was working on. I found out that another shooting took place, at an elementary school this time, but asked no further questions. I had never known how to initially react to these kinds of tragedy. I was truly shocked to find out that it was an elementary school this time, but genuineness sadness had never been my first response. For me, it's always discomfort and awkwardness. The conversation quickly died down and we all resumed working.

Project for Construction Detailing: Staircase Design

When it finally occurred to me how devastating the Sandy Hook shooting was, I think I was more upset by how oblivious, self-absorbed, and disengaged I was rather than actually hurting for the lost lives and the whole incident itself. Having lived in my own dungeon for weeks and already without sleep several days prior to finals, the sense of shock - let alone the idea of mourning - was really difficult to conjure up from my weak condition. It didn't help either when I received an e-mail that weekend saying that a student from school died from a shooting when he went home for break. I was greatly annoyed and angered by this. "Why can't I ever be sincerely sad?" I often asked myself. Thank God for good friends that was around me! 

That Sunday, we cared and prayed for Newtown, CT. Together, we sought after God in the moment of despair. My GC family helped me remember that God was in more pain and loved all the victims infinitely more than their own parents and family. They reminded me that God was appalled by the great evil that was committed. They helped me remember to see beyond circumstances, beyond raw emotions and human inquiry. They reminded me to mourn for God's loved ones and hate the Adversary (School Shootings and Spiritual Warfare by Dr. Russell Moore). Most importantly, they reminded me why I was to mourn, to pray, and to hope. 

'[Since] it is written, "You shall be holy, for I am holy."' - 1 Peter 1:16

Free-Hand Conceptual Sketches

2012 had been a year of mourning for me in some ways. The end of my parents' almost-thirty-year marriage tops it all for the most difficult and painful event of my 2012 for sure, but there was a lot of "dying to oneself" situations as well. 

As I reflect, I feel like I may be coming to an end of my "running away" season with God (which is something major to rejoice about actually). My two-year rebellion overseas and the past two years of dealing with the repercussions of my rebellion have come full circle after all. After my parents' divorce, God had really been narrowing in on tackling my own sins in the latter half of 2012. Though graciously giving me new friendships and circumstances, I was not exactly comfortable with His new arrangements for me, more so than usual. By mid-November, God seriously reveled to me a root to all my agony over the past twenty years (slightly over exaggerating, but not that far off). Then came December, with unending stress and a weak body, I was simply miserable (let's just say, my parents' divorce didn't even get me that depressed). Of course, God being God, He graciously showed me His sovereignty continuously, and blessed me with sisters to remind me of His faithfulness consistently. Now that I am more rested and slightly more "sober-minded" (no longer suffering from my self-diagnosed vertigo symptoms), I can sincerely say my heart's desire right now is aligned with 1 Peter 2:1-3:

"Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, now that you have tasted that the Lord is good."

Final Project: First Floor - Plan

All in all, I can honestly say it's been a hellish year; and yet I can genuinely say, God is good. Don't get me wrong, my fears and anxieties still remain but I think I may be finally convinced that my efforts to disregard God in my life will go in vain; and the longer I push back, the more I'll suffer. So might as well cut it out and get my act together now, no? :)

Final Project: Lobby "Elevation" Rendering

And so, now begins another chapter of my life - if not, at least a new year with an obedient heart that's ready for it (I think). I find great comfort in the family, friends, and community that God has blessed me with though. With that in mind, I believe it's going to be a good year. Wishing you all the most absolute best this new year!

Happy 2013!

Final Project: Lobby

Final Project: Lounge

 Final Project: Hallway (Looking into piano bar)

Final Project: Piano Bar

Final Project: Restaurant - Open Kitchen

Final Project: Open Kitchen (Close-up)

Note: I incorporated parts of my projects from this past semester and kind of showed the development of the project as it evolved. These renderings were completed in an extremely short amount of time. So there are lots of missing details. I shall put up my final portfolio projects, someday. :)

A Love for: Interiors

Ok, let me just establish this first: I don't really care for style. So let's just get that out of the way. This post is not about style.

Indoor images from the Wythe Hotel. Via Beautiful Object.

As I dive deeper into my design education, I have come to the understanding that styles are just materialized expressions for consumer response and consumption. One could either adapt it, reject it, alter it, and/or preserve it. Being reared in a capitalistic generation, it is difficult not to be lured by all the prefabricated products that has already shaped our attitudes towards what is "stylish" and what is not. When it comes to interior design though, I am please to say I am slowing being freed from all the Nate Berkus-isms and the "must haves" of Home&Design Magazine.

When I look at a design now, I'm am more drawn to the sophisticated craftsmanship in the details, e.g. the use of colors (or a color, such as the use in different shades of gray), the "feel" of the space, and the holistic composition of the design. With that being said, I embrace style, but I will never use it as an end goal for a design.

Photography by Davide Lovatti. Via Beautiful Object.

It is kind of weird and funny at the same time, but design has allowed me to think in a way that is very comfortable for me. It's like writing a literary composition, but with materials instead of words (and for those that know me, I'm not exactly the best with words...play a game of scrabble with me and you'll see).

Being in design school has made me fall in love with spaces more than ever before. I use to just look at interior design photographs and get excited by the look. Now I know why I REALLY love spaces. I love the possibilities that a space has to offer to human beings. I love the challenge of designing traffic flow (aka circulation paths and accessible routes), social interactions, and dynamic environments through materials and colors. I love learning about how things are built, maintained, and aged. I love learning about birth and death in the context of materials for building structures and spaces. I love all its practicalities and ideals. I love how it's utilitarian and artistic. I also love it because I feel like I can be myself - that is, finally having a medium to engage, communicate, and articulate all that is going on with people and our world.

In the year that I have been in design school, I have come to love the design process the most because along the way, I meet with God, learn about God, and commune with God during the process. The initial phases may or may not start with God, but He certainly has reveled Himself to me in all the big and small ways.

I am not studying interior design to be a designer. I love interior spaces, and I love encountering God through the process of design, and so I am studying interior design. I don't care to be "the" designer, now or even in the future, but I am learning what it means to be one - and it's been a blast!

Cathartic Lyrics

Don't Waste Your Life by LeCrae

[Hook: Cam]

[Verse 1: LeCrae]
I know a lot of people out there scared they gone die
Couple of em thinking they'll be livin in the sky
But while I'm here livin man I gotta ask why, what am here fo I gotta figure out
Waste my life
No I gotta make it count
If Christ is real then what am I gone do about
All of the things in Luke 12:15 down to 21
You really oughta go and check it out
Paul said if Christ ain't resurrect then we wasted our lives
Well that implies that our life's built around Jesus being alive
Everyday I'm living tryin show the world why
Christ is more than everything you'll ever try
Better than pretty women and sinning and living to get a minute of any women and men that you admire
Ain't no lie

We created for Him
Outta the dust he made us for Him
Elects us and he saves us for Him
Jesus comes and raises for Him
Magnify the Father why bother with something lesser
He made us so we could bless Him and to the world we confess him
Resurrects him
So I know I got life
Matter fact better man I know I got Christ
If you don't' see His ways in my days and nights
You can hit my brakes you can stop my lights
Man I lost my rights
I lost my life
Forget the money cars and toss that ice
The cost is Christ
And they could never offer me anything on the planet that'll cost that price.

[Verse 2: Dwayne Tryumph]
Armed and dangerous
So the devil jus can't handle us
Christian youth them a stand wid us
Livin' n driven
Given a vision
Fullfillin the commission he handed us
London to Los Angeles
Da rap evangelist
Ma daddy wouldn't abandon us
"I gotta back pack fulla tracts plus I keep a Johnny Mac"
So are you ready to jam with us
So let's go, gimme the word an let's go
Persecution let's go
Tribulation let's go
Across the nation let's go
Procrastination bes go
Hung on the cross in the cold
Died for da young and the old
Can't say you never know
Heaven knows
How many souls are going to hell or to heaven so we gotta go in and get em
Whaaaaat!

[Verse 3: LeCrae]
Suffer
Yeah do it for Christ if you trying to figure what to do with your life
If you making money hope you doing it right because the money is Gods you better steward it right
Stay focused if you ain't got no ride
Your life ain't wrapped up in what you drive
The clothes you wear the job you work
The color your skin naw we Christian first
People living life for a job
Make a lil money start living for a car
Get em a house a wife kids and a dog
When they retire they living high on the hog
But guess what they didn't ever really live at all
To live is Christ yeah that's Paul I recall
To die is gain so for Christ we give it all
He's the treasure you'll find in the mall
Your money your singleness marriage talent your time
They were loaned to you to show the world that Christ is Divine
That's why it's Christ in my rhymes
That's why it's Christ all the time
My whole world is built around him He's the life in my lines
I refused to waste my life
He's too true ta chase
That ice
Here's my gifts and time cause I'm constantly trying to be used to praise the Christ
If he's truly raised to life
Then this news should change your life
And by his grace you can put your faith in place that rules your days and nights.

Psalm 27 (NIV)

Of David.

¹ The LORD is my light and my salvation—whom shall I fear? 

The LORD is the stronghold of my life—of whom shall I be afraid?

 ² When the wicked advance against me to devour me, 

it is my enemies and my foes who will stumble and fall. 

³ Though an army besiege me, my heart will not fear; 

though war break out against me even then I will be confident.

⁴ One thing I ask from the LORD, this only do I seek: 

that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, 

to gaze on the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. 

⁵ For in the day of trouble he will keep me safe in his dwelling; 

he will hide me in the shelter of his sacred tent 

and set me high upon a rock.

⁶  Then my head will be exalted abovethe enemies who surround me;

at his sacred tent I will sacrifice with shouts of joy; 

I will sing and make music to the LORD.

⁷ Hear my voice when I call, LORD; 

be merciful to me and answer me. 

⁸ My heart says of you, “Seek his face!” Your face, LORD, I will seek. 

⁹ Do not hide your face from me, 
do not turn your servant away in anger; 

you have been my helper. 

Do not reject me or forsake me,
God my Savior.
¹⁰ Though my father and mother forsake me, the LORD will receive me. 

¹¹ Teach me your way, LORD; lead me in a straight path because of my oppressors. 

¹² Do not turn me over to the desire of my foes, for false witnesses rise up against me, 
spouting malicious accusations. 


¹³ I remain confident of this: 

I will see the goodness of the LORD in the land of the living. 

¹⁴ Wait for the LORD; 

be strong and take heart and wait for the LORD.

Psalm 139 (ESV)

Search Me, O God, and Know My Heart

To the choirmaster. A Psalm of David.

¹O LORD, you have searched me and known me! 

²You know when I sit down and when I rise up;

you discern my thoughts from afar.

³You search out my path and my lying down and are acquainted with all my ways.
⁴Even before a word is on my tongue,
behold, O LORD, you know it altogether.
⁵You hem me in, behind and before, and lay your hand upon me.
⁶ Such knowledge is too wonderful for me;
it is high; I cannot attain it.


⁷ Where shall I go from your Spirit?
Or where shall I flee from your presence?
⁸ If I ascend to heaven, you are there! If I make my bed in Sheol, you are there!
⁹If I take the wings of the morning
and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea,
¹⁰even there your hand shall lead me, and your right hand shall hold me.
¹¹If I say, "Surely the darkness shall cover me,
and the light about me be night,"
¹² even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day,
for darkness is as light with you.


¹³For you formed my inward parts;
you knitted me together in my mother’s womb.
¹⁴I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. 
Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
¹⁵ My frame was not hidden from you, when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
¹⁶Your eyes saw my unformed substance; in your book 
were written, every one of them, the days that were formed for me,
when as yet there was none of them.


¹⁷How precious to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
¹⁸ If I would count them, they are more than the sand. 
I awake, and I am still with you.


¹⁹Oh that you would slay the wicked, O God!
O men of blood, depart from me!
²⁰They speak against you with malicious intent; 
your enemies take your name in vain!
²¹ Do I not hate those who hate you, O LORD?
And do I not loathe those who rise up against you?
²²I hate them with complete hatred; I count them my enemies.


²³Search me, O God, and know my heart!
Try me and know my thoughts!
²⁴And see if there be any grievous way in me,
and lead me in the way everlasting!

Psalm 19

For the director of music. A psalm of David.

 1 The heavens declare the glory of God; 

   the skies proclaim the work of his hands. 

2 Day after day they pour forth speech; 

   night after night they reveal knowledge. 

3 They have no speech, they use no words; 

   no sound is heard from them. 

4 Yet their voice goes out into all the earth, 

   their words to the ends of the world. 

In the heavens God has pitched a tent for the sun. 

 5 It is like a bridegroom coming out of his chamber, 

   like a champion rejoicing to run his course. 

6 It rises at one end of the heavens 

   and makes its circuit to the other; 

   nothing is deprived of its warmth.

 7 The law of the LORD is perfect, 

   refreshing the soul. 

The statutes of the LORD are trustworthy, 

   making wise the simple. 

8 The precepts of the LORD are right, 

   giving joy to the heart. 

The commands of the LORD are radiant, 

   giving light to the eyes. 

9 The fear of the LORD is pure, 

   enduring forever. 

The decrees of the LORD are firm, 

   and all of them are righteous.

 10 They are more precious than gold, 

   than much pure gold; 

they are sweeter than honey, 

   than honey from the honeycomb. 

11 By them your servant is warned; 

   in keeping them there is great reward. 

12 But who can discern their own errors? 

   Forgive my hidden faults. 

13 Keep your servant also from willful sins; 

   may they not rule over me. 

Then I will be blameless, 

   innocent of great transgression.

 14 May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart 

   be pleasing in your sight, 

   LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer.